


we are losers

by heartshapedhannie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Beverly Marsh Knows Everything, Bisexual Bill Denbrough, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is Bad at Feelings, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Stanley Uris, Lesbian Beverly Marsh, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Pansexual Mike Hanlon, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Whipped, Teenage Losers Club (IT), Trans Beverly Marsh, Trans Eddie Kaspbrak, Trans Male Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21905359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartshapedhannie/pseuds/heartshapedhannie
Summary: they were playing in a small bar, and people were waiting for them to come out. they all walked out from backstage and the crowd cheered. eddie walked up to where his keyboard and mic is. he looked out towards the crowd and took a deep breath. the lights were beating down on him. he froze for a minute and then richie smiled at him. he began talking "hi, hey everyone. i know i'm not the typical lead singer and i'm sorry about that, but i.. but our lead is not feeling too well so.. here i am."
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	we are losers

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first fic in a while and i just got inspired so uhh i made it... please be nice but also feedback would be great:)
> 
> i have no idea how being in a band works so this is me bs-ing my way though it.

~~because he's everything to me.~~

eddie kaspbrak stared at the paper in front of him. he was trying to find the words to write. it was his job now to write a new song for the band. _don't write about boys._ he tells himself. beverly has to sing this and they don't even like boys. there was knock on his dorm room door. "edward spaghedward my boy, may i come inside?"

"go away, rich. i'm trying to write a song." eddie said. he didn't want richie to see what he wrote. but richie never listens. 

"i don't know the meaning of go away." richie says as he walks into the dorm and flops down onto eddie's bed. 

"clearly." eddie mumbled and looking over to the kid on his bed. 

"whatcha working on, eds? is that our new songggg." richie stood up, walking over towards eddie's desk, where he was sitting and grabbing the paper, despite eddie's protests. "jeez eds, you didn't get that far. who was this even about?"

"nobody in particular. a guy who i met, i guess." he mumbles. "i have to write something for bevvy to sing though. and they don't like boys even so i can't write about boys."

"why don't you try writing something for yourself, eddie? it'll be fun." 

"i don't even sing, richie. i can't even sing." eddie protested. he knew he was lying, because he did sing, he was just self conscious about his voice, it was too... feminine he thought. and he hated it, because it made his dysphoria act up. and he really didn't want to deal with dysphoria. "so im gonna go tell everyone to meet me in the studio, we need to come up with a new song, our next gig is in like two days." 

"rightio, spaghettio." richie said and then headed towards the door. "meet you down there, with my guitar this time." 

and with that, eddie sent a message to the group, telling everyone that he needed them in the studio. 

* * *

eddie was the first one in the studio space, which surprised nobody. what did surprise eddie was that somebody else was using the space as well. the losers' were usually the only ones to use this space. 

it was a boy, eddie heard, and he was good at singing... more than good he was amazing at singing. "can i help you?" the boy said, exiting out of the space he was in. he must've caught eddie watching him. 

"n-no.. sorry i was just waiting for the rest of my band to get here, we've gotta write a song in like two days." 

"oh i see. you're part of that band that's always rehearsing down here? the losers'? or whatever they're called." 

"yeah, the losers'. i play the keyboard.. i'm eddie... kaspbrak. eddie kaspbrak, nice to meet you."

"elliot. nice to meet you as well, eddie." the boy held his hand out for eddie to shake, they shook hands and eddie felt himself tense up, harder to breathe. his binder was digging into his chest. "well, have fun writing that song of yours, maybe ill come to your next gig." 

eddie smiled and cleared his throat, "yeah, thanks." he said, elliot turned to walk out of the studio space. eddie was once again left alone with his thoughts. that is until the losers' show up.

* * *

everybody shows up, and gets set up but beverly is sniffling through the entire thing. "are you alright, bevvy?" eddie asks, but still keeping a safe distance from them because although beverly is his best friend, he's still eddie and he's still afraid of germs. 

"yeah, i'm fine.. just a bit under the weather, i guess," they say, setting up their mic. "i'm sure it's just a tonight thing and i'll be better before our gig on tuesday night." they smile at eddie and then turn around to cover their mouth from a sneeze.

"alright, let's get to writing." ben said as eddie sat down at his keyboard, playing a few notes. 

"i started working on some notes, i can probably play those and then we can fit the guitars and drums in there?" eddie said. the group nodded their heads and eddie began to play with the keyboard. richie watched him, intently, as if trying to figure out where to start the guitar. he took his pick and started strumming the guitar, and soon bill and stan joined him. stanley was humming along with the instruments and mike watched them lovingly, keeping the beat on the drums. eddie was playing around the keyboard, coming up with a melody for himself. he looked over at beverly, and ben who was recording so that they could remember what they were doing. eddie's playing died down and so did the rest of the losers'. 

"that sounded really good guys. i'm impressed with how little time that took you." ben smiled. "wanna work on some lyrics, bev?" beverly looked up, and you could tell they didn't feel well, their face pale and they had big bags under their eyes. "are you sure you're alright, beverly?" 

"i'm fine ben, just need some rest. richie and eddie can work on lyrics, they're good at that." they smiled. "i'm going back up to my dorm so i can rest, sorry guys you sounded amazing though." they headed out of the studio space. 

"it's getting late and we're all super tired, let's all go get rest and hope beverly feels better, and then we can work on lyrics tomorrow." mike said, holding onto stanley, who was leaning into him and yawning. bill nodded.

"i agree with mikey. stanny and i are both super tired and mikey and ben look exhausted to. and honestly you two don't look that hot either. let's just get some rest." 

"no, i'm going to go write a song no matter what. and rich, if you want to help me you're very welcome to, but stanny is falling asleep on mike, so how bout you guys go to bed and just don't worry about the song. i'll get it done i promise." eddie said, sighing lightly and sitting back down to write. mike carried stan out of the room, as they had already fell asleep. and bill and ben walked out behind them. eddie wasn't paying attention and thought richie had left as well. 

"eds, i'm still here, are you going to let me help or?"

"yeah, yeah. sorry i thought you went with the rest of them come sit down."

"was gonna go grab some caffeine, eds, you want some?" richie said lightly, sighing at how hyper fixated eddie was on trying to find the perfect words. 

"yes please, rich, nd maybe a blanket from my dorm if you want? 'm fine with only caffeine if you don't want to go up to my room."

"no it's okay i'll be right back." 

* * *

eddie and richie stayed up all night, trying to find the perfect words to sing. honestly it was one of the hardest things they've done. but they did it. and the song was done. and eddie was sprawled out on the bench and richie was curled up on the floor. the door opened and elliot walked in, and was startled by seeing them sleeping. "oh.. sorry i didn't mean to interrupt." 

"huh. what huh? oh uh. elliot... hi good morning what time is it?"

"a bit after 10. did you guys sleep in here?"

"rich and i were up all night writing. i'll pick up and wake him up, and we'll be out of your hair in about 10 minutes. richie wake up, someone's trying to use the studio." 

"give me five more minutes, eds."

"richie, up.. we gotta go." 

"fine." richie said, sighing. he sat up and saw elliot. "oh hello there, i'm sorry i didn't realize anyone else used this studio space. we'll clean up and leave as soon as possible." richie stood up and made his way around the room, picking up the sheet music and his guitar and getting ready to go. eddie grabbed all the lyric sheets and his blanket and was ready. 

"sorry again, elliot, didn't realize that we fell asleep in there. it's all yours."

"no problem, eddie." richie walked out of room and eddie started after him. elliot stopped him. "eddie wait, when's your next gig? id love to hear you play."

"it's tomorrow night, actually, we'd love to have you." eddie smiled and walked away.

* * *

it was now the night of the gig and beverly still wasn't doing too hot. eddie sighed and anxiously paced backstage. "beverly said they can still go on. the show must go on, they suppose." eddie looked over at beverly who looks like they were about to throw up.

"they're not going to go on. they can't." eddie gestured to bev who was leaning over a garbage can, throwing up. 

"who's going to sing lead, eddie? stanley only knows their parts and not beverly's." ben sighed.

"i.. i'll do it. i know all the parts, ben." eddie said. "just move my keyboard to center stage and i'll play and sing, i'll let the others know."

"eddie, your stage fright." ben said, "are you sure you can go on?" 

"i'm fine i... i'll be fine." eddie said, heading to find the rest of the losers'. ben went to tell them to change the stage around.

* * *

"eddieo spaghettio are you positive you can go out as the lead tonight? you told me you didn't sing." richie stood in the doorway of his and eddie's dressing room. 

"i also told you i didnt write music but i've been working on a piece for weeks for myself and... i may preform it tonight."

"eddie! are you sure?"

"yes, rich im doing this and i'm ready." 

"alright eddie, i'm proud. of you. i'm proud of you, and you're going to do great." richie smiled as eddie fixed his outfit. "also eddie? i know you've been binding for three days straight and after this i'm forcing you to take a break, your breathing is laboured and you sound like your dying."

"fine rich, now let's do this." 

* * *

they were playing in a small bar, and people were waiting for them to come out. they all walked out from backstage and the crowd cheered. eddie walked up to where his keyboard and mic is. he looked out towards the crowd and took a deep breath. the lights were beating down on him. he froze for a minute and then richie smiled at him. he began talking "hi, hey everyone. i know i'm not the typical lead singer and i'm sorry about that, but i.. but our lead is not feeling too well so.. here i am." eddie played the first note on his keyboard and the band started. eddie began singing, his self consciousness fading away slowly. they played a few of their old songs and then their new one. "and i.. i uh have a song .. that i want to share." 

stan, bill and mike all looked at eddie. and richie smiled. "so here's my song. it's not the best but..." he began humming, and playing the music on his keyboard, and then looked over to richie, and began singing.

_and is it wrong_

_if i look at you in aw_

_i've been told that_

_it's wrong all along_

_but it feels so good_

_to me... to me.._

he finished his song and catches himself staring at richie. the crowd began to clap and eddie felt everything else melt away.

**Author's Note:**

> hi there thank you for reading:) i hope you enjoyed my fic.  
> check out my twitter @KASPBRATS


End file.
